The Color Brown: A Harley Quinn Tragedy
by one man loon
Summary: A day at the carnival with Harley Quinn and the Joker. Are the coupled clowns simply going to seek out some fun, or does the Prince of Crime have something a tad bit different in mind for his maniacal minx?


So many sinister smiles had surrounded them. Some men, women and children were merely slumped over their seats. However, others on the Ferris Wheel weren't as lucky- laughing so hard that they wriggled off the edge and plummeted to their inevitable demise. For the course of three marvelous minutes the fair was full of continuous chilling chuckles. But, of course, the Devilish Duo simply went on with their day, enjoying it and looking forward to all the nefarious fun ahead of them, at their mutually favorite place-the Carnival!

"Oh, Puddin' look it, it's the funhouse! Can we go? Please, please, please!" Harley begged, but the Joker simply dismissed her request. Harley grew confused. She pondered, _did he not hear me or he is just ignorin' me...he probably didn't hear me-let me give it another shot!_

"Puddin', can we PLEASE go to the funhouse? I could teach you how to ride a Harley, but remember **safety** first!" an abrupt squeak escaped her mouth. Amused by her failed funny, the Joker let out a laugh, too, but he still wasn't interested in entering the funhouse.

"Harls, I don't want to go to the funhouse. We go in there **every time** we come to the Carnival! It's like a repulsive routine, hence making us no different than the dying and smiling buffoons I've baffled!" he says, frustrated by her relentless requests.

"Alright, alright, already. Sheesh! Didn't have to get all cranky clown on me." she said jokingly, but the Joker didn't appreciate her ridiculous retort. He stopped walking, and gripped both of the two-toned goofy sides of her hat.

"Now, listen close you nincompoop. We are going to take a ride on the Ferris Wheel and **you** are going to put on a smile for your Puddin'. And if you show any sort of reluctance or if you refuse, you, Pumpkin, will no longer be my favorite little henchwench. But rather an oversized stuffed prized hanging on the wall with the rest of them! Understand?"

"Yes sir." she said, imagining herself as a stuffed Teddy bear being cuddled by none other than Mistah J. Once the Joker let her go, she smiled at the sight of the back of his head. She hadn't registered whatsoever what her Puddin' had just said.

The two approached the upcoming seat of the Ferris Wheel. The Joker took the initiative to push the punks off their seats, and moved his arms in a way to invite Harls to sit first. But Harley didn't go since the seats current conditions made her stomach turn.

"Ew, uh, Puddin'? You really ought to try to figure out how to alter ya Joker toxins-the resulting symptoms are so nasty for the people walkin' by." she said, as she plugged her nose at the atrocious aroma.

"Hmm, it seems they've colored the entire seat brown! HAHAHA! Well Harls, it's not my Joker toxins causing this stinky solid surprise! It's good ol' fear my little squirrel! HAHAHAHA!" He couldn't help but to notice the stench of cowardice lingering in the air, it was hideously hilarious.

"Well, let's go to a place that **doesn't **smell like your babies' breath!" he said kiddingly.

"Hey!" she responded, not really scolding him but rather acknowledging his comment.

The two continued walking, while simultaneously looking at the seedy booths. Both, trying to figure out what to do.

"(Gasp!) Can we go to get some ice cream, Mistah J.? It's **free**!" she said, while gently nudging his side with her elbow.

"I! KNOW!" he responded, as he aggressively elbowed her back causing her to immediately flinch towards the left, as means of dodging the next blow. Unfortunately, for Harley, however, she trip over herself like the Diamond Ditz she is and fell right on her bum.

"Ow!" she cried out.

"You know, I am **sort of** in the mood for ice cream. Let's go Harls, don't be so **fragile**." he said in a serious tone, walking passed her without even so much as lending her a hand.

Harley got up, and together they approached the smelly and smiling sweetheart at the counter.

"Hmm. I'd like half a scoop of strawberry-with real strawberries- and half a scoop of chocolate-easy on the chocolate, and one scoop of vanilla, and don't forget the gum-ball placed at the very top!" he ordered in one breath, but the two-hour expired female just continued smiling, as her eyes slowly rolled back and her tongue began to slip out the side of her artificial grin.

"Well (he clears his throat,) I know I'm quite the looker, honey, but if you don't mind, my maniacal mole is standing right here." he explained to the deceased dame, as he waved his hands in Harley's direction.

"Hey! Hands off girly, this clown's taken!" Harley said, as she seriously claimed her Puddin'.

The Joker laughed frantically at Harley's genuineness. But Harley was too busy with the corpse, to process anything-so consumed in the one way argument with the grinning gal. Joker, then, put his arm around Harley's shoulders.

"(Wiped a tear) It's alright, Harley. I was only **joking**; she's nothing more than an inanimate object. Like you, Pumpkin, I'm a one **gal** loon. Now, calm your nerves and go get me some ice cream." he commanded.

Harley smiled, half-way melting in his arms. She tried to hug him back, but he pushed her away before she could even make the attempt. He wanted the ice cream, now, before she indirectly diverted his attention to something else. Harley leaped over the counter, like the perfect little gymnast she was, making it a production to impress her Puddin'.

Harley, then, hopped back over the counter, with two hard-shelled cones, each decked with three scoops of frozen milk. Joker was pleased to see that she had been attentive the entire time he ordered, she got everything just right. She walked up to him, as he teasingly checked his watch-as if she'd had taken so much time getting his cone.

"Here's ya thrice-cream Puddin', bon-appetite!" she handed the Joker his frozen milky munchie and almost automatically licked hers.

"How's yours Puddin'?" she asked with a squeak of satisfaction, her eyes wide-open, as if the sugar rush had rapidly already taken effect.

"Why aren't ya eating yours? Something wrong with it? Did I get it wrong, because I'm positive you said-" the Joker interrupted her.

"No, no. Harley, it's just fine. In fact I was just thinking how I could've gotten so lucky to have met a minx like you." the Joker said, in an affectionate manner-almost as if it was entirely sincere...almost.

"Aw, Thanks Mistah J! I really needed to hear that tod-" Harley suddenly dropped her bubble-gum flavored frozen treat, grabbed at her stomach, and fell to her knees.

"Ooh, my stomach. I just might live up to my nickname. Ha-ow! Ugh, I don't-I don't-feel so...ugh." she groaned, completely discombobulated and suffering from excruciating stomach pain that could not at all be relieved-no matter how hard she squeezed her tummy.

"What's wrong, Harls'? Having a little stomach pain, I see? Perhaps food poisoning..." the Joker said, widening his grin by the seconds.

She mumbled to herself something, but it didn't even remotely make sense.

"(Continued groaning,) That ice-cream was the only thing I've eaten, today. What-what was in that?" she said, as she slowly raised herself from off the ground, still clutching as hard as she could to the sides of her stomach to distract herself.

"Oh, nothing. A little of this, a little of that. Just, you know, the regular ingredients of ice cream: milk, sugar, laxatives..." he said, counting the verbally-listed ingredients with his fingers.

"Laxi-what?!" she hollered. Her face quickly transformed from an expression of agonizing pain to sheer fury.

"Wait, **you** made it?" she asked.

"Yup! Interfered with the shipment, today, and well added my own special touch. HAHA!"

"You lousy, scum sucking creep!" she yelled, arms still holding her sides, knees bent and eyes full of rage. The Joker began crazily cackling.

"I couldn't help myself dear; you simply made it too easy! Besides don't fret, you look great in umber! HAHAHAHA!"

From Harley's mouth erupted a single chuckle, then several followed after. Joker instantaneously stopped laughing and looked at Harls- who no longer gripped at her sides.

"You really think I didn't know aboutcha' diabolical plan to make me the butt of a joke? I saw the pills all crushed up on the table, and not to mention the drawn out picture of me with oblong circles comin' out of my rear! You even went so far as to title it, _The Color Brown: A Harley Quinn Tragedy_!_" _she yelled, frustratingly pulling at her hat and then wildly waving her arms into the air.

"So, you **knew**?" the Joker asked, in a moment of pure shock.

"Yup and, uh, you know how you asked me **just this morning** to grab ya a soda pop?"

The Joker played the scene over in his head:

"_Harley! I'm thirsty, bring me a soda pop!" (Joker working on his plans)_

_"Rightarooni, Mistah J!" Harley goes off to serve him a cup of soda. She returns._

_"Didn't I say soda pop, you ignoramus?" Joker says through his teeth, but goes on to drink the soda, anyhow._

_ "Whatcha doin' Puddin'?" Harley asks, as she attempts to look at his plans, over his shoulder._

_ "Devising a plan to lead Batsy to his delirious death! Now get out, Harls, I'm busy!" Joker says, while shoving her out the door. He then slams the door behind him and returns to his so-called plan of ruining Bats._

His grin fades, and he stares directly into Harley's eyes.

"You didn't?" he asked, already aware of the answer his Harls will utter.

"Oh, but I **did**. Remember, Puddin', **you're** not the only funny clown in this city. Ha!"

Harley grabbed him close and gave him a big smooch. She then, petted his soft and green locks a bit.

"Aloha sucka. And like a great man once said, 'Don't fret, you look great in umber!' HAHAHAHAHA!"


End file.
